so far.

Already, 2014 has proven to be a trying year.

I've been exhausted, stressed, maxed out, angry, happy, bitter, excited, sad, and all around a mess most of the time. I've refused to look at my calendar, anxious for what all is coming. I started an awesome new job. I took on a new executive position.

I've failed a few times, and fallen a lot. I've broken down and not been able to pull myself back up. I've had amazing experiences and made new friendships. My patience has been tried. I've felt like giving up. I've been filled with doubt. I've felt peace. 

So far this year, I have struggled a lot. I've wondered when life is really going to start for me. I've wondered when I will finally love my major. I've wondered how I'll make it 2 more years. I've wondered what my purpose is in this life. 

I'm learning day after day that I don't have the answers to any of these questions. I probably never will. And I have to be OK with that! I am being taught each day something new. Every trial, every moment. I am learning. I am growing. 

This is life. It's not always glamorous or exciting, but it's what you've been given. It's the purpose for your very existence! And it's a crying shame not to live in every moment. No matter how hard it is now, it's all going to work out. How do I know this? God promises us this. He is the ultimate promise-keeper. 

Yeah, it's going to be tough sometimes. But it'll make you that much more tough. Things may not be going like you planned. But the Lord's plans are that much better. 

Thankfully I've been blessed with the greatest support system of friends and family. They push me when I want to quit. They encourage me when I'm down. They pick me up when I fall. They make me smile through the tears. They make me laugh when it's the last thing I feel like doing. 

So for now, I'm continuing on. Dreaming. Still believing in big things. Finding that my worth is not in the eyes of others. Getting out of my own way. Thankful for grace. Trying my best to trust in my God. He is greater than all of these things. 

And yeah, it's gonna be scary. The future is crazy bright but totally unknown, but there is no fear in love.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

{1 Peter 5:7}

-k

23 things I'd like to stop reading about.

I'm sure you've all read "23 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF GETTING ENGAGED BEFORE YOU’RE 23." And like me, I hope you've also read the countless responses to this particular article. Most notable "THE RESULT OF A CLOSED-MINDED 23 YEAR OLD."

What is bothering me most about these articles are how completely polar opposite these opinions are. One girl is anti-marriage and "take off your clothes, take no responsibilities for your actions & hurt others," while the other ones are somewhere along the lines of "give up your career and start a family."

But you know what? Nothing is wrong with either of these opinions because they are just that: opinions. 

Everyone is all torn out of frame and getting their feelings hurt about these blogs. I've seen everything from "Why is a blog telling people how to live their lives??" and "This is perfect. Exactly how I want to live." 

Please live your life the way you want to. There's nothing wrong with reading these articles and taking to heart what they say. In fact, it's a good thing to read stuff like this because it helps seeing how different people think. 

People are born with different desires, different dreams. Some grow up knowing what they want to do with the rest of their lives. Some have passions so fervent in their hearts that nothing will change the path they take. 

If you want to drop everything and travel because that's what you feel you are being called to do: DO IT. 

If you want to be a stay at home mom and raise your family: DO IT if that's what you are being called to do.

I have no idea what I will be doing when I'm 23. (In fact, I've never known what I want to do with my life.) By 23, I plan on being done with school and hopefully doing what I love. What ever that may be! 

Maybe I'll be married. Maybe I'll live in a different state or heck, even a different country! Maybe I'll be continuing my education or moving up in my career. Maybe I'll still have this blog. Maybe (*hopefully) I'll have a toy poodle named Fitzgerald. 

Who knows? But isn't that the beauty of life? We have no idea how big of plans the Lord has in store for us. What we do know, is that he not only has a plan, but a plan to prosper us. We know that through prayer and following after him fiercely, our lives will have purpose. We were made with love, to want love, and to love others. 

We all find our satisfaction in life different places. That could be in finishing school, traveling the world, and having a successful career for some. For others it could be in marrying early on, having children, and staying home to raise a family. Just remember "The only One who can truly satisfy the human heart is the One who made it." 

And no, I won't (can't) come up with 23 things I want to stop reading about...I just thought it was a good title. 

Thanks for reading. 

-k